I love you, Will...no hard feelings!

 

We live in America...not Britain...

I had a very interesting commute returning to Fort Collins from Tulsa this past weekend.  Will, Dan and myself departed Tulsa late on Sunday evening, and decided to rest our heads at the fabulous Super 8 in Salina, Kansas.  Unfortunately, we woke too late to enjoy Patrick's favored continental breakfast, and were forced to venture to the closest breakfast establishment for some nutrition and coffee.  Around the corner was IHOP...wonderful!  The breakfast commenced with one of the more interesting experiences in my race travels.  First off, I've never had such an inanimate waitress in all my dining experiences.  Even my flirtatious tactics (a product of my genetic material passed down from my father) that I often like to employ at random restaurants along our travel routes were no match for this Mona Lisa.  It wasn't until a mother/daughter pair sat at a booth, drank their soda, and left without paying, was I able to establish a common ground based on our mutual observation of the situation that allowed the waitress to crack a smile.  Mission accomplished.

I digress a bit from the aim of my post and would like to return to my purpose.  Between meeting our cold waitress and the incident where the mother/daughter pair left without paying was the most interesting part of the whole adventure.  Our food arrived at the table, hot and ready to be consumed, but there was a problem.  Will had no cutlery!  Yes, that's right I said CUTLERY, and so did Will when he was asking this poor, midwestern, innocent, corn-fed waitress for some SILVERWARE.  Since when was SILVERWARE called CUTLERY?  Either I grew up a little too blue collar or the midwest is too isolated from international/British sophistication.  After a couple failed attempts at asking for cutlery, Will finally asked for silverware.  The lightbulb went off in the poor waitresses eye and Will finally got his cutlery.  

That's all...I was simply perplexed at Will's intelligent, British vocabulary.  Oh yeah, he also wears knickers; defined as women's panties in the dictionary.  

-Phil